Quantum Savvy, Moreton Agency

Hi All,

as you may have read in my previous post, I am working on my gallop and flying lead changes and admitted that my fear of speed has been holding me back. It is not the only fear I have, but it is one of the bigger ones. There is another one I have, the fear of failure, though... this one is slowly fadeing.

On my journey to overcome my fears, I came across an article and it made me realise how wonderful the QS programme is, as it really helps us to develop strategies to overcome our fears, extend our comfort zones, provide a positive, supportive environment.

I contacted the author of the article and asked for permission to republish it with some annotations of my own as it relates to our horsemanship study and he kindly gave it, so here it is. You will find my annotations in blue.

Let me know what you think.

Cheers

Petra

Overcoming Fear, Uncertainty & Doubt
By John D. Moore, MS, CADC

Four things you can do to chase away the enemies of goal attainment & move o nto reaching you dreams!

When he was 32, Dylan fulfilled his long time dream of becoming a professional body builder. For him, winning first place in the state championship was even more spectacular than he had imagined. Now he seta new goal that would drive his decision making process for the next decade: To become a professional trainer to those who desired to improve their physical appearance. Today, Dylan runs a thriving business and clears nearly six figures a year.

Achieving his goals was anything but easy, because along the way, many people attempted to dissuade him off his path through the use of FUD. Simply put, FUD is Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. It is quite possibly the most powerful weapon that others will use against you to prevent you from reaching your lifetime goals. Sometimes the use of FUD is insidious, cloaked in a message that is designed to plant the seedlings of self-doubt and thus deter you from your dreams. In Dylan's case, several so-called friends told him, "There is no money to be made in personal training? why bother?"

So how do you deal with FUD? Consider a few simple precepts:

IMAGINE YOURSELF MEETING YOUR GOALS
Once you have identified your goal(s), visualize yourself in them to help motivate yourself in their achievement. This may mean keeping a journal of the things you are doing to reach your goal. It may also mean placing up visual aids in places that you can see to self-remind you of your goal. Example: If you goal is to lose weight, place a picture up of a favorite celebrity's body image that you wish to emulate. Another helpful tip: Read up on topics related to your dream. If you want to buy a new car, start examining periodicals that address this topic. All of these activities are designed to strengthen your resolve to achieve your goal and fortify you against the next several points.

When I read this paragraph it reminded me of why we use our homework cards, have the practice groups and our Tah Dahs, both in video and word. I know reading and watching each other's achievements, really helps to keep me inspired and gives me a 'Can do too' attitude, and I really do see myself galloping around with a big grin on my face. Also, by ticking the homework cards I know where I am on my journey and where I haven't been yet to get me to my goal, and keeps me on track and focused.

TUNE OUT NEGATIVE REMARKS BY OTHERS

Sadly, there is always going to be someone who will try and deter you from your lifetime dreams by attempting to mentally sabotage your efforts through negative remarks. Recently, a college professor at well known Chicago University attempted this on me by using negativity with regard to where I am earning my Ph.D. (University of South Africa) [UNISA]. Specifically, he said, "You are going to the world's largest correspondence school ? don't expect to get a professorship at a college." Little did the "good professor" know that I was already an instructor at a university ? or that no less than two Nobel Prize Laureates were graduates from UNISA. He also did not know that UNISA is not a correspondence school, but rather, a distance learning institution with roots starting in the 1800s that does have students on the physical campus. What is my point? People who are uninformed are often the most vocal in trying to sabotage your goals. Always consider both the source and motivation behind negative messages. Ask yourself: "Why would this person say such a thing?" Negative remarks by others causes one to experience personal fear ? fear of the unknown and fear of the future. Don't give others the power over your dreams! Avoid these people like the plague and tune them out!

I had to giggle when I read this. I am sure we all have had them. I only recently got a bit of negative remarks when I was really pushing myself to get the gallop … 'this is the worst riding you've ever been doing!' 'What kind of riding is QS teaching?' 'You're arms are moving about like crazy … it makes you look like an idiot.'

It's hard listening to stuff like that when you, in your heart know, that you actually have improved your seat, that your arms are actually moving with your horse, and that the riding QS teaches has helped you overcome a lot of fear and expand your comfort zones.

I was very angry with the person making the statements, but I also realised that the words uttered were not to be mean and nasty, but simply because the person did not understand the programme and maybe felt a bit threatened by what I was doing, the dedication I have towards it and the determination to achieve my goals.

Still... at the time I was really mad and I had a bit of doubt about my abilities, but in the end... the madness got me to finally get the speed and feel what galloping feels like :-).

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK

One surefire that will cause goal derailment is engaging in negative self-talk. Let me give you an example. Some time ago, a friend of mine had set a goal of losing 50 LBS within a six-month period. During the beginning of her goal, she started doubting her efforts and sayingthings like, "I've always been fat ? I will never lose this weight." Sure enough, FUD began to overwhelm her thoughts and soon she had given up on her longtime dream of having a toned physique. It took several years to pass before she learned to stop engaging in negative self-talk and move onto losing the weight. So what happened to her? Today, she has a body that most women would envy and instructs others on staying motivated to lose weight. Negative self-talk plants the seedlings of uncertainty, meaning that it will cause your goals to become clouded with anxiety. Counter this by focusing on why you are working towards your goal. Drop the words can't and won't from your vocabulary and replace them with words like can and will. A rather simplistic approach, but simple changes like these can go along way in making your dreams come true.

I underlined the last three sentences because they are immensely important. I have become a much more positive person using those simple changes. At first it took me a lot of effort to make sure I use 'can' and 'will' rather then 'can't' and 'won't'. I will be bold and say... it has become second nature to use positive words, even when describing some of my frustrations... ehem... fascinations. Turning frustration into fascination and looking at how a current situation can provide a postive outcome is a really great way to avoid that negative self talk... it's turning it into positive self talk. The other thing is that with our fantastic QS forum, we always have a place we can go if we need an injection of 'positive'.

SURROUND YOURSELF AROUND POSITIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A SIMILAR GOAL

One of the best ways to help you achieve your goal is to surround yourself around others who have like interests. For example, if your goal is to retire at 50, you may want to join an online investment club and find others who are looking to do the same. Perhaps your goal is to earn your college degree, but the only way to do so is through an online university due to family and work obligations. If this is the case, it may be helpful to connect with others who are doing the same thing so as to stay motivated. If you want to write a book, but have heard that it is difficult to get it published, consider joining a writer's club. You get the point. Surrounding yourself around others who have a positive attitude with similar interests will keep you on track to goal attainment by chasing away doubt while instilling personal motivation.

Hehe... the forum, the practice groups, camps, clinics, Quantum Weekends... just a few ways to surround ourselves with positive people who have a similar goal... how lucky are we? Freaking awesome!! It this what makes QS so amazing as no matter what we find positive people around us who will inspire us, keep us focused on our goals and celebrate our achieivements with us. Yeeehaaa!!

CONCLUSION

Reaching a personal goal brings about a sense of accomplishment and personal satisfaction. To achieve your goal, learn how to identify the gremlins of goal derailment, which primarily consists of FUD. You can defeat FUD imagining yourself achieving your goals, tuning out negative remarks by others, personal negative self-talk and finally, surrounding yourself around others who have similar interests. Once you have learned to defeat FUD, you will have gone along way in achieving your dreams ? it happened for Dylan and it can happen for you.

And it will happen for me and for everyone in the QS family! How fantastic is that? Freaking Awesome!!

About the Author

John D. Moore, MS, CADC JOHN D. MOORE, MS, CADC is the author of Confusing Love With Obsession: When You Can't Stop Controlling Your Partner & the Relationship (Writer's Club Press), a book containing a variety of case histories regarding people who use controlling behaviors in personal relationships. Moore is a certified addictions counselor in the state of Illinois and a Professor of Health Sciences at American Public University. More

Author website: johndmoore.net